I'll Always Be Here
by Doomed to be Uke
Summary: Even though Johan is leaving to go back to Europe, he'll never truly be gone to Judai. Writen as number 1 in a set of 4 stories for Doomed to be Uke AND Seme's birthday. Johan x Judai AKA Jesse x Jaden!


Title: "I'll Always Be Here"

Author: Uke

Rating: G

Pairing: Johan x Judai (Jesse x Jaden)

Genre: Romance, angst

A/N: This story is dedicated to my best friend, Doomed to be Uke AND Seme!! It's her birthday and I wanted to give her a birthday present. Since I have no money…she got a set of 4 fanfics of her favorite couples! I decided that I would write slight angst for Spiritshipping because EVERYONE loves angst and there's not that much angst out there for this couple since they're so damn fluffy. Anyways, even though I wrote it for her I hope all of you guys like it too!!

Warnings: This story contains **SHOUNEN-AI** (BOY x BOY relationships)!!! If this offends you in any way, then please don't read.

Disclaimer: Me no owny Yugioh GX.

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The moment the brunette never thought was going to come was sadly here. Johan was leaving him.

The two boys stood outside on the dock, the boat that would soon take Johan to his home town was docked in the ocean. Judai was hugging himself against Johan, clinging to the front of his shirt, his eyes tightly closed, trying his hardest not to cry. Johan held the smaller boy around the waist, his lips pressed against the top of Judai's head, occasionally nuzzling Judai's soft brown hair.

Judai never thought he was weak…and neither did those around him. But this was the hardest thing Judai had ever faced. After everything he and Johan had been through…after all the hardships and tears…they still couldn't remain together. Already Johan was going to leave.

"It's not fair…" Judai said, his voice muffled because of his face that was pressed against the front of Johan's shirt. "I don't want to lose you…I can't lose you again…I just don't want to do it!!" Johan didn't say anything but just held Judai closer against him. Judai pulled away from the bluenette, just enough so he could look up at him. His big brown eyes were now beginning to glisten with tears but Judai was forcing himself not to shed any. "Why does it have to be this way…?" His voice was soft and echoed with sadness and hurt, all stemming from Judai's breaking heart.

Johan hated seeing Judai like this, he really did. He longed to take the pain away…he wanted to see Judai's face light up, he wanted to see him smiling just like the day he did when they first met. He knew how much pain Judai had gone through recently and it made him feel even worse to know that he was causing more pain for his little love. He never wanted to be the reason that Judai cried.

Smiling sadly, Johan wiped away a tear of Judai's that had managed to escape. "Shh, Juuchan, please…smile for me, okay? It's going to be alright…" Judai looked up at the older teen desperately, "B-but you're leaving…you're going back to _Europe_ of all places…!! I'm never going to see you again…" Judai let go of the front of Johan's shirt and looked down, hiding his expression with his hair. "I'm sorry…" Judai said, trying to hide any emotion in his voice. "I'm not normally like this…I'm acting like a kid, I'm making you feel bad…"

Johan shook his head, "No, Judai, you don't have to be sorry. You don't have to be sorry at all! I understand…I'm just as sad as you are." Judai looked up at him again, "Then why do you have to go?"

Johan reached out to brush a strand of hair out of Judai's face. "Sometimes people have to do things that they don't want to." Judai glared just slightly, tears forming in his eyes once again. "But it still doesn't make any sense!! After we've been through so much! Why can't we just stay happy together?!" Judai started to cry now, unable to hold these tears back. He clung to Johan's shirt once more as he sobbed slightly into Johan's chest. Johan felt the sting of his heart when he saw how pained Judai was at this very moment. "Judai…" The bluenette whispered, as he held Judai close again.

Nothing was heard now except for the crashing of the waves and the soft sobs of Judai. Johan's arms were wrapped tightly around Judai, his hands rubbing his back comfortingly. "Please…" Johan whispered softly, "No more crying…you don't know how much I hate seeing you like this…"

Judai hated how he was acting but he couldn't stop himself. He pulled away and wiped away his tears. "I'm sorry…" He mumbled again. Johan leaned down, wiping away the rest of Judai's tears and kissing him on the forehead, cheek, anywhere he could to try and make Judai feel a little better.

He then placed his hands on Judai's shoulders, smiling down at the little brunette. "Judai…I'm not really leaving you…I know I won't be here physically but I'll be here in spirit. I'll always be by your side." Judai just stared up at him, staying silent. Johan continued to smile, "It may not seem like a lot but…I'll be thinking about you all the time so it's almost like I'll be right next to you all the time! Whenever you feel the wind blow against you, it means that I'm kissing you. When the sun is beating down on you and you feel its warmth that means that I'm holding you close. When you see a full moon it means that I'm smiling at you. When it's raining outside, that means I'm missing you terribly. And Judai…whenever you see a rainbow shine, that means that I'm saying that I love you."

Judai couldn't help but smile at Johan's words. "Johan-kun…" He looked up at him, his eyes glistening. Johan kissed Judai on the forehead, "I know all of that may not be enough…but Judai, I won't be gone forever!" He poked Judai on the nose, "I'm going to come back someday…just for you. As soon as I come back I promise I'll give you all of those things in person. I'll give you as much love as you want and I'll never let go of you if I have to! And until then I'll always love you. I'll never for a second stop loving my Judai-koi!"

Judai's arms wrapped around Johan's neck, "I'll never stop loving you, either…" He said, almost whispering. "And I promise I'll wait for you…even if it means waiting forever! Because…you're the only one I could love like this."

Johan smiled and leaned in, kissing Judai tenderly on the lips. Judai eagerly kissed him back, tilting his head to the side, slightly, so Johan could deepen the kiss for him even more. After a few moments, the need for air became strong and they pulled apart, but still rested their foreheads against each other, wanting to stay as close as possible.

The pain of having to leave each other was still there, but there really was some comfort found in Johan's words for Judai. Everything would be okay. They would meet again someday, and no matter how far apart, no matter how much time that went by, their love would never fade away.

Because even a great distance couldn't truly keep Johan and Judai apart.

-END-


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